Entries here at "Jenni's Journal" are designed to be "infertility-friendly" with an intentional avoidance of many pregnancy/baby/child-related references. If you are looking for personal updates including motherhood after infertility, you are welcome to visit my
On the Hannah's Prayer Community Forums
I am posting monthly devotionals based on various chapters of Hannah's Hope
. Here's the 8th in this series.
The following is copyrighted material and has been adapted from "Fill My Cup, Lord!" chapter eight of Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, & Adoption Loss
by Jennifer Saake, NavPress, 2005. Please do not duplicate without permission. You may read a portion of this book here
Remember the woman at the well? She went there in the middle of the day when the other women of the town would not be near to avoid their whispers and gosip. Jesus asked her for a drink of water, then offered the quenching of her soul's thirst. The Greek phrase translated "living water" in John 4:10-11 is closely related to the Ephesians concept of being filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:18).
She sought happiness in the arms of men. Jesus offers peace that could be found in none other than Himself.
I sought joy in the new life of a baby. Jesus offers New Life in Himself.
I wanted to know the feeling of carrying another soul inside my body. He provides the Holy Spirit to indwell me.
I longed to nurse a child. Paul wrote, "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good" (1 Peter 2:2-3).
I dreamed of watching my baby grow and mature. But am I
every-growing in Christ? "Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil" (Hebrews 5:13-14).
I bemoaned the "bread of adversity" I felt unfairly called to taste. The Lord answers with the cross: "And he took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, 'This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me'" (Luke 22:19).
I pleaded for a child to enrich my days on earth. He commands, "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:20-21)."I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10 (NIV)
As I writhe under the cramping of my soul, it is the bitter cup of affliction and stale bread of adversity that drive me to my knees in anguished prayer. I'm scared to be brutally honest with You about the depth of my anger, fears, frustrations, hopes and dreams, yet help me to be real before You and honest with myself in the process. In the midst of this pain, let me clearly hear Your still, small voice comforting and guiding me. Thank You for the many times and ways that You have provided for me; please bring these to mind as they are so easily forgetten when my heart aches so deeply right now. Thank you that you truly do offer answers to every longing of my heart.
Labels: monthly book devotional